“I cannot wait until the N goes back to being my personal weekender. It’ll always slick and clean again. The blue paint glows. The accents are flexed like muscles. There isn’t a single germ inside that originates from anywhere other than Gleason, Taki, Starbucks, or somewhere else. The interior is untouched from Sunday night to Saturday morning. And it reeks of artificial cherry.

It sits on the curb from Monday morning to Friday afternoon resting, like a caged beast. Waiting for my resignation forms to get submitted. Waiting to be unrestrained to just Gleason, Novato, and Marin City. Waiting to be unleashed on the world.

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

Luke 23:34 

I ask you to forgive them, although I am choked with rage.

Have mercy upon L. For he does not know who he is, nor what he is doing. He doesn’t know what reality is. He doesn’t know what he’s thinking or feeling.

Have mercy upon J.

For the same reason.

She has to wake up and go to bed believing she’s that personality. Part of her must be exhausted by her personality, or by what she’d call: “herself.” So aliented from spirit, from source.

They feel shitty things, and I make them feel shitty things by merely being, so they act in shitty ways to try to make me feel shitty too.

O father, have mercy upon their souls. The only pure parts of them.

For the hammer will find them too.

(Figuratively).

-Karla

I was leaving USF, at the red light where Turk cuts through Arguello Blvd and turns into Balboa.

I was a bit languid with my clutch play shifting from neutral to first and sustained a honk from a new Cadillac Escalade two cars behind me. I took off with a little pep, he passed the car between us and pulled alongside me to my left.

The windows were totally tinted out.

(FINISH)

(1st to 2nd)

There is a car on my head

“Loving does not at first mean merging, surrendering, and uniting with another person (for what would a union be of two people who are unclarified, unfinished, and still incoherent?), it is a high inducement for the individual to ripen, to become something in himself, to become world, to become world in himself for the sake of another person; it is a great, demanding claim on him, something that chooses him and calls him to vast distances.”

Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

Art: Hamlet by John Austen, 1922

Let’s go to war

The assessment client said to me in the elevator.

VA said to the OT students.

“I am a lucky guy,” he said to them.

And my heart warmed.