Another shitty day

Another shitty day which is made shitty because I yet again failed to abide by my sleep schedule.

“My job is to give you homework. Your job is to take it seriously and do it,” she said firmly. Mom-like.

I thought I was doing it. I really, truly, thought I was doing it. But I wasn’t.

You know what, you’re smart enough and aware enough to know that you weren’t doing it. Shut the fuck up.

Heaven awaits on one side of this problem, hell on the other.

An award winning book, tons of writing awards, abs and a huge chest, sparring matches against champions in different countries, money. A house in Bel Marin Keys.

In Hell, I’ll be getting fired from my first AMFT job, continued hair loss, abdominal weight gain, the continued absence of her, etc. The spawning of new enemies, new crushing situations.

In between, this purgatory of dissatisfaction and my spirit clawing for more.