“I did another fast start in the COM parking lot. And MAN, did it feel good. I’m not just unleashing the car’s potential, it’s unleashing my potential too.”

“This is temporary,” he tells himself.

“As temporary as a classroom at USF, as temporary as my office at the Excelsior school, my desk at the BWC.”

“This place won’t last in my life” he tells himself.

“In a year, you’re out of here,” he tells himself.

As his eyes become sorer. As he’s another night away from quality sleep. As the other dimensions of his life sit there. Untouched.

The coffee brown Cletos felt so natural on my fists.

It’s a feeling so… “opposite” of work. So opposite of civility. Of labor. Of monotony, dullness, responsibility, expectation, bureaucracy, and office politics.

It’s empowering. Fastening those gloves on is empowering. It channels strength into my being by way of my fists.

It’s a power than almost feels selfish because it doesn’t benefit any entity aside from me.

And as April suggested, I need it now more than ever.

The moment the thin gold hand struck 5 PM brought pure relief.

No more emails, responses, pressures, deadlines, or responsibilities.

With the mere movement of a single hand on my watch, I was free. And it felt great.

Fifteen minutes later, I saw him staring forward.

“What’s on your mind?” I asked him.

“I can only imagine what you are feeling,” he said to me.

On my lunch break, after eating at the dining room table, I put in my earbuds and listened to the nap meditation.

I imagined myself floating in the night sky above that one area in Emeryville, and my body began jumping like I was falling at times during rest.

I dozed in and out of the dream, always returning to it.

It was lovely.

I have the Atrium to myself on this sunny, blue skies Saturday. So I don’t want to spend too much time reliving a work day. Especially because the point of the post is to live in the present moment.

I was beaten down by the relentless monotony of work come Friday morning. Before JP, I had to drive to the Novato office to pick up a client’s check because a colleague had asked me to.

Getting to drive to the office first rather than straight to JP was a pleasant thought, but not overwhelming or anything.

When I was stopped at a red light next to the Novato Whole Foods, I said to myself:

“Experience this moment mindfully.”

With the morning sunlight on my face in luei of a single thought, I experienced being there without my thoughts about being there, I existed without experiencing my judgements (good or bad) about the Whole Foods, street, city, or day. I simply was. I just “existed,” soaking up sunlight.

When I left the office, I was about to turn onto Diablo, but chose to drive straight past Jason’s. I was very present. Just soaking up morning sunlight. I was experiencing the sunlight and the morning, without comparing it to anything else.

I careened down Sunset Parkway and saw all the SJMS students in either blue or yellow, bringing back the warmest hint of memories from a lifetime ago.

No thoughts about what work may be like, what I may have to do, what bad things could happen.

Down Ignacio, it was nice to think (yes, I had a thought) that I’m getting paid for this.

At the stop sign intersection, I glanced into Pacheco Plaza and remembered my dad and I at that coffee shop before preschool 24 years ago.

I carried the peace and presence into the parking garage.

I took the Veloster N up and down the Boulevard tonight, for the first time ever driving it by myself. Without the fluidity of shifts, the experience is still wonky and effortful. I hope its not a matter of it: “just not being for me.”

I hope I do grow to love it.

I have to say, from right now, I don’t see what all the fuss is about.

Also, NEVER TAKE YOUR CAR TO HAMILTON’S AGAIN.