I have the Atrium to myself on this sunny, blue skies Saturday. So I don’t want to spend too much time reliving a work day. Especially because the point of the post is to live in the present moment.

I was beaten down by the relentless monotony of work come Friday morning. Before JP, I had to drive to the Novato office to pick up a client’s check because a colleague had asked me to.

Getting to drive to the office first rather than straight to JP was a pleasant thought, but not overwhelming or anything.

When I was stopped at a red light next to the Novato Whole Foods, I said to myself:

“Experience this moment mindfully.”

With the morning sunlight on my face in luei of a single thought, I experienced being there without my thoughts about being there, I existed without experiencing my judgements (good or bad) about the Whole Foods, street, city, or day. I simply was. I just “existed,” soaking up sunlight.

When I left the office, I was about to turn onto Diablo, but chose to drive straight past Jason’s. I was very present. Just soaking up morning sunlight. I was experiencing the sunlight and the morning, without comparing it to anything else.

I careened down Sunset Parkway and saw all the SJMS students in either blue or yellow, bringing back the warmest hint of memories from a lifetime ago.

No thoughts about what work may be like, what I may have to do, what bad things could happen.

Down Ignacio, it was nice to think (yes, I had a thought) that I’m getting paid for this.

At the stop sign intersection, I glanced into Pacheco Plaza and remembered my dad and I at that coffee shop before preschool 24 years ago.

I carried the peace and presence into the parking garage.

I took the Veloster N up and down the Boulevard tonight, for the first time ever driving it by myself. Without the fluidity of shifts, the experience is still wonky and effortful. I hope its not a matter of it: “just not being for me.”

I hope I do grow to love it.

I have to say, from right now, I don’t see what all the fuss is about.

Also, NEVER TAKE YOUR CAR TO HAMILTON’S AGAIN.

“I am anxious for this car. I hope I get a chance to drive it around it once or twice,” dad said with a sincere smile.

I spent Valentine’s Day 2022 with A in Berkeley.

Come Valentine’s Day 2023, which I’m sure I spent with my family and sister, I probably dreaded it and buried myself in the false hope that she was coming back soon.

I also dreaded Valentine’s Day 2024, and feared she was with someone else.

This year, I have absolutely positively no fears or pain at all. I had no feelings around Valentine’s Day at all, really. Everything in my life is coming together. So many absolutely incredible things have happened. This job, Las Vegas, racing the super cars, receiving my Tudor Black Bay 58, BUYING MY HYUNDAI VELOSTER N. Once I fix my sleep, that will mirror in my life. No anxiety, no fear.

And maybe I needed to reach this level of unaffectedness for the path to be cleared. And that could only happen with time. But its not that it NEEDED to take a long time, but that the growth required time.

Seeing how literally everything in my life either has or is coming together for me, shows me what this will be like too.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately, but especially this week while staying home from work. FINISH THE BOOK. You don’t have to be at ** for 2.5 years.

Being tucked under the blankets during the evening of a cold rainy day with my earbuds in and a meditation playing, must be the nicest thing ever.